About 2 weeks ago Kevin pled guilty to some much lesser charges. I have a lot of big feelings about that. Mostly it makes me mad because I feel like he is getting away with so much more but I keep trying to tell myself he could have gotten away with it and been found not guilty. I fee like I should just be relieved that he has admit he did something.
Except I am not relieved.
I am overwhelmed and sad for Kate and for me too. I just found out that although we can make statements about the impact these crimes have had on our lives we can only speak to the lesser charges that he pled guilt to. Which feels a bit like being run over by a truck and then being told that you can only tell people it was a bicycle that hurt you even though the truck has altered your life forever and bicycle might of just been an annoyance or caused some minor injuries.
I am shocked at how fast I go from - everything is okay, I am managing this, to oh my goodness I can not do this and there will be no managing.
I feel as though this going to need to be a day with a lot of deep breaths as I try to keep myself calm because this event is still six weeks away.