It has been seven months since Kevin moved out and in that time I think I have seen him five times which included one time when he left after 30 minutes because he disliked something I said to him. He was here at the house a few weeks ago for a Christmas party and aside from hello and goodbye we said very little to one another. I did make sure that I invited him to a couple of events scheduled for this weekend and he said that he would see if he could join us.
Yesterday during an brief phone call he informed us that he was to busy and that our plans conflicted with others and those were his priority so he would not see us. He is very much trying to hurt us, he is hurting and regretting his choices and as a result is pushing us further away because he thinks that is the solution.
The hardest part though is watching Kate and Randall struggle through this. They miss him terribly and they really were hoping he would spend at least some of Christmas with us. We knew this might happen and made plans to go away for most of the vacation but they are still sad that he is not going with us.
There is no chapter in my parenting books for managing the rejection of your mentally ill teenager.