There is no instruction book for managing your emotions when you are trying to figure out how your family is going to function when one of your children is not allowed to have contact with any of you by court order. For now it is easier but with time it will be harder.
Kevin is unwilling to admit that he has done anything wrong and I am reasonably certain that this is going to go to trial. The thought of that terrifies me for myself and for Kate and Randall.
How did we get here. All I wanted to do was parent kids who needed a family and instead of being a safe place for them it has been a further nightmare. They are safe now but they were not for so long and as careful as I was I wasn't careful enough.
I don't think I will ever forgive myself for that.
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