Meh

The days just all run together into a stretch of meh -that's a technical term. I started meds last week to treat my fibromyalgia and my depression, neither my pain nor my sadness has decreased in the slightest. I know that these things take time to build up and that thing changes over night but I wish that it did.

We were away over the weekend with family to celebrate a birthday and it was a fun weekend and I managed to pull it together but it used up a whole week of spoons ( if that makes no sense to you you can read about the spoon theory here) and so once we got back on Monday I just wanted to spend the whole week sleeping. That wasn't really. an option so I have just moved through the motions of appearing functional and being presentable to the world. I can fake it well, I have been doing it for years but all I really want to do is get in my bed and alternate between sleeping and binge watching TV on my iPad until life seems a little less awful.

Instead this week I spent an entire day at the mental health hospital for a an assessment for Raymond, bought groceries, walked the dog and gone to therapy for me and for Kate and Raymond. Its almost the weekend and that will come with at least one lazy morning but there is so much to do around here both inside and out that my desire to do nothing won't really be an option.

so yep - meh is the word of the week. Maybe it will be different soon.