Thursday, 6 December 2018

Self Sabatoge

Randall is working hard at failing and is beyond frustrated with the fact that we are trying to make him be successful and perhaps even thrive at life.

He falls into the pattern of listening to his own negative self talk and then when I try to get him to engage and produce the work I know he is capable of we get into a power struggle and argue which ends with at least one of us storming off after saying things we regret. The storming off is usually me because I am just so very frustrated. We have the same conversations day after day and we fall into the same pattern of him shifting the conversations to attacking me rather then accepting that he needs to make a change if he wants things to turn out differently.

He lives in a fantasy world where his lack of commitment and follow through doesn't apply and he thinks that even though he has done the bare minimum at school for the last 4 years and barely passed that he should now be accepted to a college program that he dreams about with zero understanding of the fact that it will not happen because of the choices he has made. He lacks the cause and effect thinking he needs to be a successful young adult but no one seems to see that except his Dad and I.
We keep trying to get people to hear us and to understand that he needs a lot of support to manage the most basic of tasks and yet no one can or will hear us because he presents as so together.

It is such a frustrating experience to try to help be successful when he fights so hard to be a failure.

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