Kevin is healing, he is a great kid who has worked so hard to overcome his early trauma but lately he has begun to slide into old behaviour patterns. Yes I know that the behaviours are because he is worried and stressed about all that is going on in our lives. His concern over the impending changes in our family are subtle, so subtle in fact that you might not even notice them if you were not with him on a daily basis, but I am and he is starting to drive me over the edge. Let me rephrase that, he has driven me over the edge but I think I can climb back up with the help of a few deep breaths, a bottle of white and friends who get it.
He does little things like refuses to eat or hides half eaten food, he accuses his brother of looking at him or of thinking mean thoughts about him. You know, cause he can totally read his brothers mind. On their own each of things is small but when put together they start to add up and I am slowly going crazy with his antics.
On the bright side, he is not raging or actively trying to hurt anyone so I do have something to be grateful for because I do not miss the raging boy at all and this is so much easier than dealing with that.
Randall on the other hand is little less subtle, instead he is just clingy, he follows me around the house like a lost puppy wanting to be in the same room as me at all times and as much as I love the boy having him act like a second shadow is getting old really fast. He is way less subtle than his brother when he expresses himself and freaks out if anyone gets an ounce more attention than he does. He is concerned about adding Kate means for his relationship with Jack and frequently tells me that Jack needs to work less so that Fudge can see him more often. He told me last week that sisters are to much work and that he would rather have a brother cause little brothers are better and why on earth did I choose a girl. There is no reasoning with him, so I just acknowledged his feelings and moved on. But the poor kid is really having a hard time.
It is a bit crazy around here right now, I started this post yesterday and then all hell broke loose ( everyone is fine) but we had 2 boys and 1 young adult all having meltdowns ( one of which was life altering sort of meltdown) and in the midst of all that another friend called to say that a friend is having a midlife crisis. A midlife crisis that might mean I have to do something I would not want to do... all of that made this post feel a bit pointless cause yesterday there was nothing SUBTLE about anyones behaviour.