The boys have a visit planned with their sister today, I just hung up the phone with her foster Mom and my heart is breaking. Big Sister is having a hard time, she has begun talking about things that happened to her as a little kid and is cutting to help deal with her pain. My heart is aching for her. She has foster parents who get it and who are hearing her (thankfully) but that does not make it any less painful to see a child that you care about in so much pain. I am not sure how she is going to be today, I am not sure how being with her brothers will be for her but I just want to wrap her in my arms and make it all better for her.
I am wishing that I had a magic wand. I must say my feelings toward their birthmom in this very moment are less than loving because oh my goodness her inability to acknowledge her past mistakes and her role in her children's suffering is making my blood boil. Big Sister confronted her about some things and she denied them and refused to hear what her daughter was saying to her.
Oh and just to add to my day Randall is having a bad pain morning and given that his pain has been well controlled this week we planned on going to the wave pool today. It may not be such a good plan given that at this very moment he is lying on the couch trying to make the world dark because his eyes and his hip are hurting. He does not have another doctors appointment for 3 weeks, it might be a long 3 weeks.
