Breakfast at our house this morning included this conversation
Randall, where is the straw for your water bottle
Gee Mom, I don't know.
Well that's interesting Randall because I am sure that it was in the bottle when you left for school yesterday.
I ummm, uhhh, lost it.
How did you lose it?
I took it out and put it on my desk and it rolled off and at the end of the day I looked and looked for it but I could not find it anywhere.
Randall, would you please explain to me why the straw for your water bottle was on you desk.
Because I was chewing on it! ( said with exasperation because he clearly has the world's dumbest parents)
I did not know that your straw was made of chewing gum.
Well it must be because you are chewing it, did it taste like mint or bubble gum?
Randall starts to shout, "THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID!" at which point we all begin to laugh at our drama queen and he stomps off threatening his giggling brother on the way
I will skip all the gnashing of teeth and wailing that followed on Randall's part because he did not like where the conversation went after that.
Then much to Randall's discontent I wrote the following note in his agenda:
Please know that Randall does not have a drink today due to some poor choices that he has made, please feel free to limit his trips to the water fountain.
The hour before school was really long, I can only imagine what the 4 hours after school are going to be like.