what do you do when it is all just the same?

There have been many moments in the last week or so when I have thought about coming here, thought about writing something to help me process some of what is happening in my head and to my spirit but I haven't. I feel like I have nothing more to say that I have not already said.

Things are hard.

Most days feel as though I lived through enough life to last for a whole month.

These days that are hard for me, seem to last forever. For awhile now I have been working on  acknowledging the level of pain and exhaustion that I am feeling as a result of my life and my own trauma that has been front and centre in all moments of my life.

I so wish that our lives were different. I wish that I could go back and change the past. I so wish my life had turned out differently

I have been hanging on to this message for awhile and made it the wallpaper on my phone the other day, not because I feel as though my story is something people need to hear but more because I know that knowing I am not alone has been such a comfort to me. Perhaps one day sharing my story will help someone else realize that they are not alone either.