Wednesday 27 June 2012

Archived Post 2012 - 12!

Can it really be that this boy, our little Kevin, (who is as tall as I am now) is 12 today...

We met him at 8. He was outgoing and bold, underneath he was terrified. He has come so far in the last 4 years. He has moments of being a total jerk, an annoying oldest kid, a sensitive young man, a generous soul and a child with an insecure attachment who has an intense fear of abandonment by the people he now loves, us.

Tonight we had a party he did not know about because if you do not know that your family is going to celebrate how awesome you are you can not ruin it. If your siblings do not know they can not ruin it either. We celebrated his awesomeness tonight and he held it together, he was polite and handled both excitement, surprise and disappointment well. This is one of my favourite pictures from today because the look on his face is one of pure joy ( getting money tends to do that to for him) but I love how very happy he is.

It has been an insane week ( end of school, grade 6 grad, his birthday, about to go to camp alone for the 1st time ) for him and I expected disaster but instead I have been met with maturity and grace. He is growing and turning into a wonderful kid, he has his moments, he is still healing and needs things other kids his age wouldn't but that's okay, he will keep growing and as long as he is all that he can be than I will be happy both with him and for him.

Tuesday 12 June 2012

Archived Post 2012 - Dear Kate,

Dear Kate,

It has been 90 days since you came to live with us. You could also say 12 weeks or that I have been your Mom for three months, but really the number does matter because it feels like it has been forever.

You clearly think I am new at this parenting hurt kids gig. I'm sorry to tell you that I'm not.  You seem to think that you can pull the wool over my eyes on a daily basis and you are most upset when you discover that not only do I know what you are doing but I make you do it again the way I asked you too the first time. There is a lot of foot stomping that goes on on your part.

There were so many things that happened this month that I want to remember and some others that I would just as soon forget. You are learning that I follow through and always do what I say I am going to do. This week you learned that  walking through the whole museum barefoot was not as much fun as thought it would be but if you keep kicking off your flip flops every 2 seconds after you have been asked to stop eventually I am going to make sure that you stop kicking them off. Once I finally gave them back to you go outside you managed to keep them on your feet just fine, I thought you could probably walk in flip flops and I was right.

I also learned that you are not afraid of much, you will try to shatter a glass door with your fist if you think it will work and the fact that it hurts means little to you. Luckily for all of us you were not successful but you did learn that sometimes when I am SCARED it sounds more like I am mad. We talk about that a lot, you definitely learned something that day although I think that you might try it again.

You met your grandparents this month too, you were so excited to get to know them in person instead of just talking to them on the phone. Grandma made you a grumpus* and hid it in the basement. You cried at the thought of going into the basement with the boys to find it but you were so excited at the same time. It was really cute. You were devastated at the thought of being left with them when your Dad and I went out for dinner but you survived and when I came home you were so happy to see me and that was such a pleasant surprise.

You were baptised last Saturday and your foster parents who are now your Godparents drove up for the day, you were so excited to see them and I was so proud of how well you handled yourself throughout the day. I was expecting there to be a lot of tears and frustration on your part but you managed so well. I braced myself for the fallout and although there was some you really were pretty spectacular about the whole thing. I keep waiting for the shoe to drop but I think that you dropped both of them in the week before they came and now you are shoeless, well either that or you are plotting your next move with careful precision.

I have learned this month that you are always on top of everything, you miss nothing and you have the ability to recall details from events with the clarity of a well trained detective. This can be fabulous and awful at the same time. I have learned not to second guess you. With all the has been going on I am amazed at how often I see appropriate emotional responses from you and that you are learning about how things work in our family. You are growing before my very eyes and the good days give me so much hope for the future.

You are a wonder Kate


*In our house the Grumpus lives in the basement and sometimes at night he comes out and bites you when you are sleeping and then you wake up grouchy. Kate did not believe in the Grumpus, she called Grandma and Grandma told her that there was a Grumpus and that when she came to visit she would convince the Grumpus to let Kate meet him. The only cure for a Grumpus bite is being tickled, in case you were wondering