Friday 12 November 2010

Archived Post 2010 - Graffiti

Written on the bathroom wall at school

I had sex. Fri. Oct 9, 2010. Randall.

I kid you not, he wrote it on the wall in the bathroom and signed his name. He has a lot to learn about the art of graffiti if he plans to do it more often. No I am not to worried about what he wrote or that he wrote on the bathroom wall. I am sure that he was just copying something else he saw in some other bathroom stall. He thought it would be funny and it might of been if he had not done it in the boys bathroom at school.

I really wished that I could take a picture but I thought asking the principal if he could wait to wash it off so I could take picture might make me appear a little bit too crazy.

PS - Yes Oct 9 was a Saturday so clearly he was not keeping track very carefully.

PPS -  Yesterday he was learning about gestures in french class and offfered to show the class a gesture he knew, then he gave everyone the finger.

Tuesday 9 November 2010

Archived Post 2010 - But that is not what I said!

Breakfast at our house this morning included this conversation

Randall, where is the straw for your water bottle

Gee Mom, I don't know.

Well that's interesting Randall because I am sure that it was in the bottle when you left for school yesterday.

I ummm, uhhh, lost it.

How did you lose it?

I took it out and put it on  my desk and it rolled off and at the end of the day I looked and looked for it but I could not find it anywhere.

Randall, would you please explain to me why the straw for your water bottle was on you desk.

Because I was chewing on it! ( said with exasperation because he clearly has the world's dumbest parents)

I did not know that your straw was made of chewing gum.

It isn't

Well it must be because you are chewing it, did it taste like mint or bubble gum?

Randall starts to shout, "THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID!"  at which point we all begin to laugh at our drama queen and he stomps off threatening his giggling brother on the way

I will skip all the gnashing of teeth and wailing that followed on Randall's part because he did not like where the conversation went after that.

Then much to Randall's discontent I wrote the following note in his agenda:

Please know that Randall does not have a drink today due to some poor choices that he has made, please feel free to limit his trips to the water fountain.

The hour before school was really long, I can only imagine what the 4 hours after school are going to be like.

Wednesday 3 November 2010

Archived Post 2010 - It's a love/hate relationship.

I love attachment.
I hate attachment.

I love that my children are developing bonds to us, the people who will always be there for them. I love that they are learning to trust us, to feel safe with us and to love us.

I hate the nightmare that is getting to the place that they need to be in order to do all those things. I hate that in order to learn to love us they must grieve all that they have lost in their short lives. They have experienced more loss than many people experience in a lifetime.

Randall continues to struggle and fight us at every turn, It has been a long month with him, in fact it has been a long 6 months ( as many of you well know). He has ended his last 2 days in tears and been sent to bed early because he is unable to stop arguing and being rude when he is in trouble. He began is day today in tears because he refused to wash his hands after going to the bathroom. It was a long morning. Then he left for school. I will see him at lunch hand I am dreading what I am going to hear from his morning teacher because more days than not she stops me in the hall to talk about his behaviour. He is not hitting so I guess that is a plus but he is threatening and teasing and being rude. Rude seems to be his behaviour of choice this week

I love attachment.
I hate attachment.

As hard as Randall is at the moment Kevin is managing to keep my hopeful, he is in a word, wonderful. Do not get me wrong he is not perfect. In the past week he has spray painted the inside of the toilet black with black hairspray, ignored my instructions numerous times, had a tantrum over his lunch, talked back and worked hard to annoy his father but he is not raging. He responds when he gets in trouble, he is remorseful, he makes amends and accepts his consequences without argument and does them.

Kevin keeps me hopeful. Kevin who used to rage and try to break anything he could get his hands on. Kevin who did everything he could to make us stop loving him, to make us give up on him. If we can see the light at the end of the tunnel with Kevin than surely we can get there with Randall  right. (don't rain on my parade, I need all the hope I can get right now)

That is what is giving me hope this week, that and the fact that they go to school everyday and I get a break.