Tuesday 25 September 2018


It has always been one of my favourite songs, it makes me cry now because it hits that spot in my heart that is so very raw and painful.

Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older, too
Landslide - Fleetwood Mac
Time has indeed made me bolder in so many ways but I am still so very afraid of changing even though the universe is dragging me kicking and screaming into another place. Some of the changes are ones that come along with life as your kids get older, some for my body which is not the same as it was when I younger and some are the result of the choices Kevin has made and the impact that has.

Before the sexual assault charges we were skating around the issues with him, we were putting up with his behaviour because we felt like keeping him in our lives was important for him and for us. We ignored so much of what he was doing and how he was treating us just to keep the peace. We can't go back to that place now.

It's such a hard and painful place to be.

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