Sunday 9 October 2011

Archived Post 2011 - Triggers

I have mentioned recently how well Kevin has been doing, how hard he has been working and just how very far he has come. Yesterday I saw a glimmer of the child I once knew and I was totally not expecting it.

T's foster family dropped her off at 1pm, we timed things very carefully so that we would be able to supervise her with the boys at at all times. We got it the car to head to the city and chatter started. Kevin chattered all the way to the city making up all sorts of tall tales about things he is doing and has done some of which I called him on and others I ignored. He kept chatting and making a point of saying Dad as often as he possibly could. He was clearly stressed and triggered by having his sister present and although I thought he would be I was surprised by the chatter.

While Kevin chattered non stop Randall withdrew into a book for the 40 minutes we were in the car. It was an interesting ride.

I was surprised at just how much being with T triggered Kevin. He has not been like this in the past but then again he has grown so much in the last 6 months and he knows just how much she is struggling to stay out of trouble. He loves her and he misses her but he understands how hard it is to make good choices and on deeply personal level that what she is missing is a family who will always love her. He can articulate that to me and he has begun to say that, it warms my heart to hear him talk about being happy to be adopted.

Once we got into the city things got better. We met E and his Mom and played a few games of laser tag with some friends to celebrate Randall and T's birthdays. The visit went well, T acted like a 14 year old girl with significant attachment issues and the boys all had a blast playing laser tag.

Kevin had managed to regulate himself by the time we were home and we enjoyed our shared meal with E's family. T did not stay for supper because we do not feel that we can provide the level of supervision required so that she is not constantly saying inappropriate things to the boys.

Bedtime was easy - gasp I know - and no one had a melt down.

Today was a different story but I will take one tantrum free day and run with it because it this is a new phenomenon around here and I kinda like it.

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